I cant during ?

Ive been having for 5 months with my boyfriend and I have never ed. He is more experienced than me and I know it isnt his fault because he is very attentive and it does feel quite good , the only problem is that the feeling never intensifies and I cant , it just feels the same level of good the whole time. The very first time I did it I faked the and I have been doing it ever since, If I ever confessed to him he would be completely devastated and would never trust me again. I really dont know what to do. I know it isnt his fault , Its a psychological thing but i cant seem to overcome it( no pun intended)